Is There Any Room For Me?
by Pensadora
Summary: Takayo's POV. She ponders her feelings for Makoto and how everything turned out. Takayo/Surprise


**Is There Any Room For Me?**

By Lissy

_Is there any room for me?_

Ever since we were in junior high school, I've known that Makoto and I would be married. At first, that thought had upset me. I mean, why would I get married to a perfect stranger? Even if it was for the sake of the family, which it undoubtedly was, I'm sick. My immune system isn't very strong and getting married or falling in love or other normal stuff like that didn't seem likely to happen in my life. To think that I would even bother trying to do any of those things seemed pretty mundane and pointless. And then I met Narita Makoto. As cliché as it sounds, he took my breath away. It was right then and there that I decided that marrying Makoto wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

_Is there any room for me?_

Makoto had a certain charm to him. Girls in his presence swooned, even though he was merely a pre-teen. There was just something about him, something unexplainable, that drew attention to him. He was everything a girl could want. Charming, handsome, strong, kind, sweet... So many good qualities to him and the fact that I, Iizuka Takayo, was betrothed to him, even though it was through omiai, made me feel special. It wasn't because I had what every other girl was envious for. It wasn't because being with Makoto would up my popularity at school. It was because I hoped that eventually, as more time passed, maybe Makoto would return my feelings and we could have that happily ever after most girls dreamed for.

_Is there any room for me?_

And then, just when I had allowed myself to hope and believe that I could live like a typical enamored teen, that dream shattered. Makoto decided he no longer wanted to run the Narita family dojo. No, instead, he wanted to be an actor. An actor. It wasn't until a week later, after being absent from school, that I found out that Makoto made a deal with his father. He had to go through the last two years of his high school life as a girl. I was torn. A part of me mourned the loss of Makoto and, possibly, even resented him for being so selfish. All I could think was, how could he do this to me? I was nice to him. I made him meals, I supported him at kenpo tournaments, and I even went so far as to buying him tokens of affection. It was then that it occurred to me that I was the one being selfish. Makoto needed my support, not my resentment. He already had his family against him and, if he was going to make it through this challenge, he needed somebody on his side. It was then that I decided to support Makoto's dream of becoming an actor. What better way to do that then to transfer schools and be there for him every step of the way?

_Is there any room for me?_

I wasn't able to transfer to Makoto's school until nearly a month later because of my stupid illness, but when I did, I wished I hadn't. I figured Makoto would've been lonely and I would be like an oasis in the dessert for him. His savior; the person that could make all of his problems seemingly vanish without a trace. At least, that's how I wanted him to see me. It never occurred to me that Makoto would make friends and be happy, nor did it occur to me that he would be interested in another girl. I mean, he's never showed interest before. Why start now? To be honest, my first impression of Miura-san was that he had a crush on Makoto because he looked like a girl. I hadn't anticipated that Miura-san was a girl herself and knew of Makoto's secret. She wasn't supposed to know! Makoto wasn't supposed to tell anybody or let them find out. That was the terms of the agreement with his father and yet, here he was, comfortable in the presence of another girl who knew the truth about him. If my purpose for transferring schools wasn't to support Makoto, I would've told his father straight away. Only, I knew if I did, Makoto would hate me forever.

_Is there any room for me?_

As Miura-san and Makoto's relationship evolved and flourished, my heartstrings slowly withered. It hurt to see him with another woman, especially one that didn't even look like she was female. The thought that Miura-san had what I wanted and craved for so long kept me up at night, staring lifelessly out the window as tears rolled down my cheeks. I could feel cracks in my heart, small wounds from the beginning break into bigger pieces. Soon, my heart would break entirely into tiny fragments that I wouldn't be able to pick up or put together. Why couldn't Makoto see how much I loved him? Why did he want Miura-san more than me? Why? And then I thought, maybe I should try harder. Maybe Makoto wants a girl who is serious about him. A girl who would do anything and fight anyone to be with him. With a determination I didn't know I had, I decided to be that kind of girl. For Makoto and our future together.

_Is there any room for me?_

As Makoto's graduation day grew nearer and nearer, my hope of bringing him back to me grew thinner and thinner. It was becoming clear to me that maybe, just maybe, Makoto didn't want to run his family dojo. That he never did want to run the damn place and was following his dream with the influence of Miura-san. That he was the happiest I had ever seen him and I would never, ever, be in his heart the way I wanted to be. He saw me as only a friend and, somehow, I think him hating me forever would've made me feel better. I didn't want to be just a friend to Makoto. I loved him with my entire being and it hurt so much when I realized he never did and never would return my feelings. And that's when I proposed it; gave him that ultimatum. If his talent could be recognized, then I'd let him go. I loved him so much that, although I wanted to be with him with all my heart, I'd let him go so he could be happy. That was the right thing to do...right?

_Is there any room for me?_

In a way, I'm actually happy that Makoto and Ito-san met. I'm happy that Makoto pursued his dream and I'm happy that they're currently married and acting in the same theater troupe. While it was the hardest thing to do, letting go of my selfish love for Makoto made me feel better than ever. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from me. Like I had been freed from a burden, surprisingly. Don't get me wrong; my feelings for Makoto were strong and true, but I realized that his happiness meant more to me than mine did. Though I'll never tell her this, after actually spending time with Ito-san, I can see why Makoto fell in love with her. I had always thought that she was too boyish for him; too uncultured and sub-par. When I decided to let Makoto go with pride and invited her to that meal, I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to her, how much I enjoyed her company, and how all I could think of was how she and Makoto made such a cute couple. It occurred to me, right then and there, that because of my interaction with Ito-san, letting go of Makoto would be easier. And it was.

_Is there any room for me?_

Love is a funny thing. When I was head over heels in love with Makoto, all I could think of was me. Why didn't he love me in return? Was I somehow inadequate? And when I let him go, freed him from the forced engagement, all I could think of was if I'd find love again. Was there a place for me in the world? Would I have someone's heart and give mine to them in return? Would I be cherished for the rest of my days and hold someone in such high regard, the way I did with Makoto, that I'd share an unbreakable bond until the day I reached that eternal sleep? And now, now that I do have someone to share my heart with, he's always on my mind. He's all I think about, day and night, and I wonder if he's happy. I wonder if he's satisfied with the life we now have. I wonder if we had met on different circumstances, would we still share this passionate fire that consumes us neverendingly? Now that I look back and reminisce, I realize that Sakamoto is the best thing that's happened to me.

_Is there any room for me?_

It's nice to know that there is room for me. And, though it's not in Makoto's heart like I had originally wanted, just knowing that I have a special place in somebody's life makes me happy.

A/N: Yeah, I just felt like writing something in Takayo's point of view. Feedback is appreciated as this is my first W-Juliet fan fiction. I love this fandom and I'm sooo going to be working on more stories.


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